About Zosha (My Sister): New Guest Blogger

by Zosha :: posted 21 February 09

Zosha & Angrez In Chicago

Since I haven’t responded well to friendly harassment, Hijabman has taken to tracking down my random rants and pilfering them for this blog. But I don’t mind because this blog rocks. The truth is, I don’t really know how to write blog posts; the context makes me self-conscious and neurotic. So does writing “about me” narratives, so, instead, I’ll tell you a story:

One day, when I was eight, I went to the mosque with my father. We were without any other friends or family members that day, and so, when the call to prayer sounded, we stood to pray side-by-side. Part way through the prayers, when we were deeply engrossed, a strange man came and grabbed my wrist. Startled, I clung to my father. The man began, as people all around us tried to hold their concentration in prayer, to shout at my father about how inappropriate it was for me to be standing for prayer in the men’s section. My father tried to explain quietly that I was only eight, and that my mother wasn’t at the mosque that day, but he wouldn’t listen. We sadly left the prayer and the man behind, in the hopes that the other worshippers could complete their prayers in peace.

Later that afternoon, I asked my father what had made the man so angry that he would disturb our prayers. When my father answered something about the separation of men’s and women’s prayer spaces, I asked why the man felt that it was okay to touch me if he was not supposed to look at me. Disturbed by the incident, my father asked if I would like to join him in a meeting with the imam to discuss what had happened. After the sermon, we three sat together in a classroom and my father recounted the incident. The imam pontificated about several things, including the “feelings” a man has when he “stands behind” a woman, and then, to his credit, asked if I had any questions.

I asked whether, if men have “feelings” when standing behind women, wasn’t it also likely that women have “feelings” when they stand behind men? He turned purple—I don’t know if it was from embarrassment or rage—saying that I would understand when I was older, and then quickly made his exit. Offering to take questions is one thing, I guess, and actually responding to them another.

My father and I walked into the parking lot toward the car. He asked if I was satisfied with the imam’s answer. I said, “um, not really.” And he responded with characteristic honesty, “me neither.” That day shaped my life.

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1. Preeti at 22 February 09 :: #

   Hijabman comes from a great family it seems. :)

2. RJay at 22 February 09 :: #

   wow
   i would love to meet your father he always strikes me as to the point kind of guy no pretenses

3. Lozah at 22 February 09 :: #

   Your dad rocks! mashallah :) Elhamdulellah I have also been blessed with a father that has taught me (by example)to question and think for myself. And I can echoe your sentiments that such situations “shaped my life”. That guy at the mosque kind of reminds me of a woman who was sitting next to me at a mosque while I was praying (she had just finished praying), I could see in my peripheral vision that she was staring at me so I closed my eyes to be able to concentrate. After I finished she said “you know it’s haraam to close your eyes while praying”. “Why?” I asked. “Because you’re telling Allah that you don’t want to see Him”. ????? Seriously? That’s your argument? My response “When I open my eyes I don’t see Allah SWT, I see you staring at me!!”

4. Will at 27 February 09 :: #

   A really nice post. Food for thought on more than one level. Thanks!