Christopher Walken Gives Good Khutbas. So Does Muhammad Asad.

“You were fast forwarding through your life long before you met me, big shot…” – Christopher Walken as Morty in Click

There are times in my life when the spiritual high dries up like a desert. I no longer feel the high. That, of course, is when the real challenge begins, as many have written and spoken before me. Can we continue to struggle through prayer, through life when we feel like we are in a desert with little sustenance? Or do we try to pass the time, seeking instead to fast-forward life.

I’m guilty of the latter. I’ve been fast forwarding through life for years. Whether it be through television, movies, the computer, or the phone, I’ve always found ways to escape living.

Every so often, when I catch myself fast-forwarding, I’ll notice reminders to begin living. I like to think of them as God smacking me upside the head, trying to wake me up. The reminders come in all forms, from movies and books to the people I come across. Everything I see, everything I hear, everything I watch and witness, from the SAW trilogy to an Adam Sandler movie, produces Qur’anic themes and imagery in my head.

For instance, throughout the movie Click, all I could think of was God’s consistent reminder that we as humans have no sensory organ for time,* a fact that leaves me in awe every time I stop to think about it.

And when the Last Hour dawns, those who had been lost in sin will swear that they had not tarried [on earth] longer than an hour: thus were they wont to delude themselves [all their lives]! Qur’an, 30:55, as translated by Muhammad Asad**

While these little smacks motivate me to become a better person, sometimes I need an extra push, and occasionally I’ll be on the receiving end of a smack (or series or smacks) that leave me on my bum with a shiny, purple, and well-deserved bruise.

Just a few weeks ago, one of these life-altering smacks blindsided me. It occurred right after I had resolved to be more productive, and decided that I needed to juggle all of my responsibilities effectively. Progress was slow going, and so I should’ve seen the smack coming…

After a marathon fifteen-hour ride to her home that included trains, planes, and automobiles, I was happy to see my friend Ablah welcome me with a warm smile, despite it being well past 2 AM. We had spoken on the phone for over a year but had never met.

The next morning I woke up on the floor of her apartment, to the face of little girl I’ll call MrsWestlake.

She walked right over to me without hesitation, standing silently in front of me, curious, waiting for me to make the first move. Her true name suits her well, as just her look leaves you feeling refreshed, like a connected-prayer. I greeted her with peace, and she responded, smiling sweetly. That smile was enough to get me talking, and she seemed amused by my chattiness. My willingness to make her a balloon doggie on the spot helped, too.

Next I met Haytham, the little boy who tried not to acknowledge my existence by hiding behind his mother. Of course his want for a balloon doggie eventually trumped his hesitance. Soon he and I were like old pals, discussing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the best ways to fight off the bad guys.

For the next few days I spent countless hours with these two beautiful children. I am fully aware that what I experienced in a few short days was just a tiny percentage of what my friend dealt with day-to-day as a single mother, but that short time was enough for me to wake up and smell the biryani.

If any of you are wondering, I lasted about three and a half days before I told her I needed a 10 minute break. Haytham had tested my patience on that third day with his yelling and while I didn’t get angry, I most definitely felt an irritation like I’ve never felt before, the kind of irritation where you want that kid to be a good man, and so you want him to be well behaved, and you want him to be a good example for others, and suddenly you think about your actions while in his presence and realize that if you want him to be a model, you must be a model. And that is a run-on sentence, and frankly, I don’t care, because all of those thoughts ran-on in my head all-day, everyday, and whether they knew it or not, the kids held up a mirror showing a side of me I hadn’t ever had the privilege to see.

Observing them while they watched a Spongebob DVD was almost unbearable. I will not allow my children to watch television. I even felt the need to censor Nemo, while reading the Finding Nemo book to little MrsWestlake. Nemo says, “I hate you dad,” and after I had read that line, I felt a huge wave of sadness wash over me.

What have I done?

How can I justify my sitting in front of a computer, or watching a movie, wasting time, trying to fast-forward through life, when I want my children to be pro-active? It’s clear that children will learn from your actions rather than your words. If I’m not pro-active myself, how can I expect them to be?

THWAP!

Okay! Okay! Enough talk! More walk! I’m speeding up the process of trying to change what I see as my own undesirable behaviors. My laziness, my want to escape and fast forward through life, the fear, all of it.

After returning home, I made a conscious effort to leave my laptop at home when visiting with my niece, Tumti. We played outside with a ball, played tag, and ran around in my father’s garden. It was more rewarding than any other time I’ve spent with her. My cousin’s kids opened up to me as well, which is something that has never happened before…

Can I get an alhamdulillah?!

*Related Anecdote:

“So God, is it true that a million years for you is just a second?” A man asks.
“Yes, that’s true.”
“Okay, hmm, so what is a million dollars to you, God?”
“But a penny.”
“God, can you give me a penny?”
“Okay, just a second…

**Muhammad Asad, by the way adds this commentary to that verse:

The illusory character of man’s earthbound concept of “time” is brought out in the Quran in several places. In the above context stress is laid, firstly, on the relativity of this concept – i.e., on the infinitesimal shortness of our life on earth as compared with the timeless duration of life in the hereafter (cf., for instance, 10: 45 or 17: 52) – and, secondly, on the resurrected sinners’ self-deluding excuse that their life on earth had been too short to allow them to realize their errors and mend their ways. It is to this second aspect of the problem that the Quran alludes in the words, “thus were they wont to delude themselves” (lit., “to be turned away”, i.e., from the truth)

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  1. katiktuni at 14 May 07 :: #

    I think this is my favorite post. Where is that related anecdote from?

  2. HijabMan at 14 May 07 :: #

    K:

    Really? I was worried about it. The related anecdote- i was listening to NPR yesterday on my way to my parent’s house…and i thought it was funny. I sort of tuned in half way to this discussion about “jokes.” maybe a book or something

  3. Radiant Light at 14 May 07 :: #

    Salaam
    Its funny how it takes so many slaps and bruises to put us on track.
    But truthfully if we didnt have the lows we wouldn’t feel how good the highs are.
    Allah himself states

    In Bukhari and Muslim it is narrated from Abu Huraira that the Prophet (s) said, “As my servant thinks about Me so will I be for him. I am with him if he will remember Me. If he calls on Me in himself I will call him in Myself, and if he calls on Me in a group of people, I mention him in a better group in My presence. If he approaches Me one handspan, I will approach him one arm’s length; if he approaches Me one arm’s length, I will approach him by a cubit; if he comes to Me walking, I will come to him running.”

    And when we do really believe and have that little extra faith, we can Alhumdulillah see it.
    Its just a small contentment in the heart, which you can’t pin point but you know its there cos you truly feel “Allahs got me covered!”

    Ma’assalam

  4. yaser at 14 May 07 :: #

    the SAW trilogy? really? =P

    “I will not allow my children to watch television.” neither will i. except maybe for the three stooges…

    i kid.

  5. nazia at 14 May 07 :: #

    wow, this is very enlightening. thanks hijabman.

  6. HijabMan at 14 May 07 :: #

    welcome nazia.
    yaser. what happened to you?

  7. homeinkabul at 15 May 07 :: #

    Have you done the ‘Getting things done’ process yet? I’m doing it now. I hope it will help me be more proactive in my life…

  8. HijabMan at 15 May 07 :: #

    homeinkabul: I’m working on it. everything ive read and listened to, podcasts wise says it takes around 2 years to master. I’m currently trying to change my behaviors to reflect a GTD type system :) Will post photos of my progress soon.

  9. homeinkabul at 15 May 07 :: #

    Well, it was a long day – I’m not finished and I’m a bit overwhelmed. I’m taking a break to re-read parts of the book. I plan on writing a post soon about my experience with GTD...

  10. Will at 16 May 07 :: #

    You get a massive alhamdulillah from me, Hijabman.

    So many of your posts hit right on the head things I’ve been trying to sort out for myself (I just wish I were as articulate as you).

    What is this “Getting Things Done” business? You’ve mentioned it before.

    Thanks for a great post. A lot to really think about and reflect on.

  11. HijabMan at 16 May 07 :: #

    Will,

    :-) You read my mind. I just posted about GTD. Glad you liked this.

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  • HijabMan

    Will,

    :-) You read my mind. I just posted …

  • Will

    You get a massive alhamdulillah from me, Hijabman.

    So many …

  • homeinkabul

    Well, it was a long day – I’m not …