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Fear Can Stop Your Loving...

by HijabMan :: posted 26 February 07

I always try so hard – To share my self around – But now I’m closing up again – Drilling through the ground – Fear can stop you loving – Love can stop your fear – Morcheeba

A couple of weeks ago, I witnessed an injustice.

I didn’t do anything. I watched. I was guilty.

After a relatively normal day at work, I jumped on the subway from 30th Street station back to my West Philly apartment. Rarely do I sit down on subway trains, preferring instead to stand up near the doorways. While leaning against one of the nearby walls, I let the acceleration/deceleration of the train pull my body in various directions.

As I stood scanning the heads of my fellow passengers, my eyes settled on a middle-aged man with his pants around his ankles. He sat in an aisle seat about 10 feet in front of me. On the right of him, blocked in, was a woman reading a book. At the next stop, a few seconds later, this man rose, took a few steps forward and asked another man wearing headphones a question. Usually, people who wear headphones in public places do not wish to be bothered (especially by a guy with no pants on), and so his thrice repeated answer of “no,” didn’t surprise me. The train sped forward, and the man sat down after nearly losing his balance.

After he sat down (in the same spot), I could see him whispering to the woman previously mentioned. He had turned his face towards her and kept his chin low, speaking softly. She kept her head straight and focused on the book, her shoulders tense.

Just as I was about to exit the train he put his arm around her, and she completely freaked out. At this point I was outside of the train, and I watched from through the window. She had plastered herself against the side of the train to get away from his grasp. She couldn’t move, blocked on both sides by other rows of seats, and directly in front of her, this man, sitting expressionless.

The scene didn’t change at all while I watched. She stood her, back towards me, against the side of the train. He sat in front of her, blocking her path, staring off into space. Everyone around them watched, but didn’t say a word nor made a move. I had a chance to get back in the train and help her some how, or say something, but I didn’t. I sat there hoping someone else would help. The train pulled away.

Guilty as charged. I completely let myself fall victim to the bystander effect, where I hoped that someone else would say something at the very least.

Listen, I made a mistake.

Consider the moments that we let fear/apathy stop us from challenging and even breaking the status quo. Or even [and this is connected] showing love.

Sure, the messengers of God had moments of weakness, but they persisted. They never let fear stop them from challenging the system. Thanks Iftekhar, for the reminder

They bore witness to truth and justice.

We should too.

I bear witness that there is no God but God, and that I will try my best not to allow fear to stop me from speaking out against or stopping an injustice

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1. zahyr at 26 February 07 :: #

   admission of guilt is often the test. and then the hope to stand up the next time around.

2. sabrina at 27 February 07 :: #

   wow! Such a beautiful reminder. I have been reading your blog without leaving any comment lately, because almost every time, I am just impressed, without having anything to comment on though. I see a change in your writing. Things are moving towards more and more “spirituality”. Not that they didn’t use to be. But, just saying, your writing is changing. Did you know that?

   anyway, thanks for another beautiful piece.

3. yaser at 27 February 07 :: #

   if not through your hands, then your tongue. and if not through that, then through your thoughts and intentions. your actions are judged by your intentions, and god willing, you will be stronger next time.

4. saad at 27 February 07 :: #

   You’re human. We all have fallen victim to the bystander effect at one point or another in our lives. In your case it might not have even been the bystander effect, the survival instinct may have kicked in allowing you to subconsciously decide that it was safer for you not to intervene. So I guess you would still be guilty, but guilty of cowardice :) I’m kidding.

5. HijabMan at 27 February 07 :: #

   Zahyr: Agreed

   Sabrina: My writing goes through its ups and downs. I’ve been trying to write a lot more (maybe a post every 2 days)

   3. Yaser, true, all about the progress.

   4. Saad. love you too :)

6. nashat at 27 February 07 :: #

   I like the entry, bondhu. But what is the significance of your toes in sandals on the snow?

7. aisha at 27 February 07 :: #

   Glad you’re posting again. Some people say about my dad that he doesn’t say much but when does it means a great deal. I guess that goes similar to your posts such as this one. I think that it takes a lot to reflect on moments that one is not proud of but is willing to acknowledge and grow from. I often wonder what I would do in such a situation myself. I guess at the very least call the police… its a tough call though to step in personally…. but you know as Oprah says “when you know better, you do better”... ok… well… i dont know if that has much relevance here particularly, but I’m tired, i have a toothache, and I’m hungry… so it feels relevant though I can’t pin it down exactly why :)

8. HM at 27 February 07 :: #

   Nashat, you tell me ;)

   Aisha. Oprah? runs away

9. nashat at 27 February 07 :: #

   You want to show off your nice clean toes and toe nails?

10. Anjum at 27 February 07 :: #

    i’ve been wondering what that away message meant; glad you posted this. we all have these moments but i second yaser’s comment. at least you recognized it, you paused and thought, i will do better next time insha’Allah.

11. alphria at 28 February 07 :: #

    nice post. i’ve been wondering how many people were on the train at the time, and if you would have acted differently if there was only you, her, and the guy? nice toes, mashallah