HijabMan Out Of Character

by HijabMan :: posted 4 October 06

“The worst thing to call somebody is crazy, it’s dismissive. ‘I don’t understand this person.’ So they are crazy. That’s bullsh*t, because people aren’t crazy, they are strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.”

- Dave Chappelle, Inside The Actor’s Studio, responding to people calling him crazy.

“He’s pagal,” she chittered to an auntie-friend of hers. She was telling people I was crazy while assuming I didn’t understand urdu.

My friend Ibtisam heard her clearly, and she promptly corrected her, “He’s not crazy, Auntie.”

I’ve never seen an Auntie go so red in the face before. Then again, I’ve never seen an auntie get a little poke for her backbiting. Here I was making her child a balloon animal in the pouring rain. All of the rides are closed. Muslim day is cancelled. And that is all she has to say? Trying to make people happy, and all she has is some offhanded remark in another language. She doesn’t understand. So she says I’m crazy.

Muslim day at Six Flags

This may sound like I am tooting my own horn or even complaining. That is truly not my intention. I’m venting. God willing it is a productive and positive vent. Some of you may know me as the guy who sells t-shirts. To others, I am that annoying balloon-kufi’ed doofus standing on a table.

Sometimes I get the chance to not sell anything. I just go somewhere to make an honest effort to make people smile, and to make them laugh. To make them enjoy their day a bit more in this great society of unhappy, isolated, and depressed people. That may seem like an exaggeration, or an overdramatization, but why do all my friends keep telling me they were, are, or consider taking anti-depressants. I don’t know what to say about that, except that: I don’t know. I just hope the sight of me in a balloon hat makes them smile, at the very least. It’s really all I know how to do.

Sometimes I feel like I’m in the movie the Neverending Story, and I need to fight the great nothing: the apathy, the sadness, the hopelessness. Not that we are that way all the time, and not that I’m constantly jubilant and smiling. I have days when I’m down. I know, it sounds like I’m setting myself up to be Sebastian, the guy that saves the day. I’m not. In fact I just struggle to keep those good deeds ahead of my, well… stupid deeds.

A few days ago, I went to Six Flags Muslim Day. It was raining, and the park was closing early. Thousands of people who drove for miles all over the northeast were turned away. I jumped in a convertible miata with someone I’ve only known briefly. Her name is Ibtisam.

We arrived there amid emptiness. Oh, there were people there, but there were no smiles. Women remarked to me as I walked by in an almost-glued-to-my-head balloon hat, “This is no fun.”

I tried to get her out. Out and happy. “Come on guys, I’m cold, warm me with your smiles,” I pleaded, offering balloon doggies and smiles. I even danced. The only time I can dance in front of a group of Muslims is with that balloon hat. Praise be to God for the blessing of balloon hats.

Muslims are my comfort zone. They also happen to be my discomfort zone.

They were all frowning, but a select few smiled. Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA) officials came by to tell me that it was against ICNA policy for me to hand out free balloons. What?!?! So much for Muslim organizations.

Praise be to God, just having that one person there with me to
reinspire with smiles, to encourage, and to ask for that first balloon doggie to break the ice was such a blessing. Thanks Ibtisam. And not only was that a blessing, but the thought of You backing me, that definitely helped. I truly appreciate it. I owe You big time. Thank You again for being my shield against the negativity.

I know you think this sounds way too dramatic, but it is ridiculously true. You see the best and the worst of Muslims from my perspective. You put yourself in the spotlight and you get hammered with criticism, you get hammered with praise, and in the end, you just hope that your head ain’t so flat from all that hammering. Or worse, it swells up after all the hammering and you think you are Sir HijabMan, coolest guy in the universe. When the fact remains: You are a computer geek who got lucky.

Really though, my bout with negativity is nothing compared to who I truly pull for: Muslim singer/songwriters. Imagine for a second that you make music that people say is forbidden because of the instruments you use. Next, imagine people freely ripping and trading mp3 tracks from your CD. Or how about just downloading them. You aren’t getting paid for your work, and worse is the direspect associated with that. Ask me or any other Muslim artists if it’s really about the money. Or is it about pushing a message? And the only way they can continue pushing that message is if you support them. Buy their CDs. Dawud Wharnsby comes to mind, so does Sofia Baig, Amir Sulaiman, and Native Deen. Sorry if I didn’t mention you.

Back to Six Flags: I walked over to the dining area, where people were gathering to frown some more. When a 10 year old saw me. “I…,” she pointed. “I… KNOW YOU!”

Finally, a refreshing youth, sharing her happiness liberally. Boy, was this girl all about the glass half-full. She was ridiculously optimistic even in this rain, without any rides open. She’s the kind of girl who likes an extra scoop of icecream. May God
grant that girl heaven. We spoke, and laughed for a good 15 minutes. Lets hope her parents won’t be too mad at me for telling her to do what she loves, instead of the usual MD path.

I saw a young man I may have wronged and jumped at the chance to hand him a balloon hat. While it poured down on us. He looked at the balloon hat, looked at me and he smiled. My heart danced. It was true life Bollywood movie. He put on the balloon hat.

You know, it takes an amazing amount of courage for anyone to stick out in a crowd of Muslims. You know its true, and I don’t even have to give you an example, just refer to the woman calling me crazy at the beginning of this post. Around 12, right as the park closed, I persuaded Ibtisam to put the top down on the convertible. We proceeded to drive around the parking lot to groups of Muslims, while I twisted balloon animals. We sped up, turned around, spinned in circles and delivered balloons.

As I was saying, for that young man to accept the balloon hat, a pink one, no less, and to put it on… was nothing short of a victory for me. The more small victories, the less I focus on the big nothing.

Then, to top it off an old uncle recognized me. “I smile whenever I see you,” he said sweetly.

“Uncle, my job is done. Because I came just to make you smile.” I patted his arm with my rain-soaked hand and left a mark. He didn’t mind.

This is not about being crazy. This is about love! And to keep us from going crazy!

I just wanted to thank You and you. And recount this blessed, rainy day, in which some Muslims smiled, some Muslims grimaced, but we pray that they all care.

Now, go be crazy.

Note: I usually don’t let it get to me, but sometimes you need to call for backup, you know. Sometimes you just have to scream, “is anyone out there?” just to hear some people yell back, so you know you are still sane. Thanks for hollering back!

Mujahideen Ryder at 4 October 06 :: #

ICNA policy against giving free baloons. HAHA that’s hot!
Nakia at 5 October 06 :: #

Oh, honey, I’m so sorry that it had to rain Haterade on your love parade. But keep parading anyhow, it can only rain for so long.
Najwa Shehadeh at 5 October 06 :: #

Truly inspiring person. I’m serious, you’re my hero now.
farah shaikh at 6 October 06 :: #

you know when it rains… the gates of Heaven are opened to let it through to make it to us… and with that comes His Mercy. So frankly, why hate the rain?
Farha at 6 October 06 :: #

Life comes in all shades of colours…and sadly what may seem like a great thing to do, might be a bad thing to do…according to pessimists..you’re the best..and you definately make ME smile!:) Hijabman+Balloon hats= FUN FUN FUN!:)
R at 6 October 06 :: #

I don’t know how ya’ll do things up north, but down south it would be outright rude to do anything but smile at this man.
NH at 7 October 06 :: #

i agree with R. you are the best hijabman!!
deeba at 7 October 06 :: #

no love for haters. keep on doing your thing…smiles are worth it.
yasmine at 7 October 06 :: #

HijabMan, in case I haven’t mentioned it lately, you’re a rocking ROCKSTAR.

you are Sir HijabMan, coolest guy in the universe. When the fact remains: You are a computer geek who got lucky.

Yeah, NERD CHILD! And if you ever need someone to smash in your bigheadedness, you know where to find me.

Also, the Amir Sulaiman shout-out made me smile. And the 10-year-old and the young guy in the pink balloon hat are both ROCKING. The end.

California misses you, hijabmandotcom. Bring your balloon hats when you come wisit. We’ll wear them while eating gelato.
yasmine at 7 October 06 :: #

Oh, and just wanted to add: You need to link this on your “About” or “Islam” page or something, so that even when this post gets archived off the main page, people can still access it. More people need to read this. Best post ever. Highfive, crackstar!
sabrina at 7 October 06 :: #

Salam my Brother,

I am really sorry to hear about your trip. I am new to this North-East region, and people’s rudeness drives me nuts. So, you may also want to think about the confounder here, which is that you are in the North-East region. People in general are hella rude here, comparing to my friendly West. And here, they always think about making money or losing money and so it’s understandable why they are under so much stress and forgot to smile at people.

I hope you feel better, but TRUST me, try your thing in a different region, you will get sweet baklava, inshaAllah.
Smile now! :)
2Scoops at 8 October 06 :: #

Abdullah Ibn Masud, reported Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) said: ‘Islam began as something strange, and it will revert to being strange as it was in the beginning, so good tidings for the strangers.’ Some asked, ‘Who are the strangers?’ He said, ‘The ones who break away from their people (literally, tribes) for the sake of Islam.’ (Sahih Muslim, Ibn Majah).
tiktiki at 8 October 06 :: #

Loved this post.. This is totally off topic, but would you ever consider writing lessons for Sunday school? I co-teach teenage girls, and it’s always a struggle to make the lesson relevant to their lives. We try to involve them in skits, but sometimes it’s hard to think of one that relates to our topic(Surah al Baqarah). Anyhow, I’d be willing to pay you. I think you would be good at this… Salaam
summaya at 9 October 06 :: #

subhnAllah. there are very few people in this world left who do things just for a smile.
Will at 10 October 06 :: #

Javed,

Bless you.
Aisha at 10 October 06 :: #

“Muslims are my comfort zone. They also happen to be my discomfort zone.”

I feel your pain.
AH at 12 October 06 :: #

Long time reader; first time I’ve really felt like posting.

This is a holler back all the way from the Big Down Under: you make me smile.
JustaLarki at 12 October 06 :: #

Nice article. I feel ya on people talking about you in urdu assuming you dont know the language.
HotHeaded at 13 October 06 :: #

Hilarious! ...
Or shall I say a Muslim clown :P
hmm No smiles from people eh? ... well comedians can’t always make every single person in the audience smile/laugh! haha!
ang at 19 October 06 :: #

this really touched me, sweetie. you’re the coolest :)

Allah Hafiz…
—m girl
Katherine Ellis at 19 October 06 :: #

Wow, that makes me wish we had gone, my family didn’t go because of the rain,... I would have gotten to someone achieve great deeds the fastest way possible,....with a smile…. Really good work…
Destry at 20 October 06 :: #

Must add to the sentiments, HM, it was a selfless, humanitarian … yes, humanitarian ... act that was good for the souls in attendance. Bravo! And bravo to Ibtisam too…good people.

(Don’t know the Arabic equivalent for “bravo”.)

Welcome! This site serves two main purposes: to entertain and educate the Believing and curious community, and to generate a bit of cash—God willing. But there’s a lot more about HijabMan.

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