KG: To veil or not to veil: that is the question.

by KufiGirl :: posted 9 June 07

dahab, egypt, 2006

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from KufiGirl.

AS WE ALL KNOW, veiled women are a dowdy, dumpy bunch. They are women with no thoughts or opinions of their own, women who can’t so much as shut the bedroom window if they’re getting a draft without first consulting a man and asking his permission. Maybe, back when they were three or four years old, they dreamed of grander things from life, but now that they are adults they’ve been forced to wear the shroud, walk three feet behind their husbands, and stifle whatever hopes and feelings they used to call their own under the guise of being hapless helpmates to domineering men.

Right?

Then again, we ALSO know that unveiled women are wanton sluts, women who require nothing more than hearing a man call “hey, baby” on a street corner and suddenly they’re in the backseat of his car, throwing their legs in the air while shrieking whee, I love Satan!

At least that’s what we’ve been told. I heard it on television and read it on the internet, so it must be true.

Or wait, did I get it wrong? Perhaps it goes like this:

Bare-headed women are liberated and free, sure of themselves, comfortable with their sexuality, a page straight out of Cosmo. They are women whose lives are filled with meaning and purpose; above all, they are modern — unlike backwards veiled women, who wouldn’t recognize their own oppression if it hit them on the head with a slipper.

Or no, wait, what I meant to say was that veiled women are the true feminists, women who are secure enough in their sexuality that they don’t need to engage in some base attempt to advertise it — unlike their sell-out sisters, who are so desperate for attention that they will abandon every iota of self-respect in a sad attempt to grovel for male approval. (“Tee-hee-hee, have you seen my belly ring?”)

Right?

Well. Maybe not. To all of the above.

+ + +

A Saudi friend of mine once said that “the only thing more cliché than talking about the veil is apologizing for talking about the veil.” She’s right; the subject’s boring, long-exhausted. Yet, for Muslim women, it’s one subject that won’t go away. Here’s an insider tip for my male Muslim friends, even the so-called progressive ones who say they don’t care whether women veil or not: the difference between you and me is that you’ve never had to make this decision. And as much as we love you — plural — for claiming that you don’t care what conclusion we come to, the fact is you will never have to be in this position. And that, right there, makes your experience of Islam different from ours.

This is especially true in the United States. Which might seem odd, because we have no laws about veiling here, but that’s part of the reason the issue is so contentious.

In Iran, because veiling is mandated by law, a woman must be especially progressive to wear it in a lax and casual manner (in public) or forgo it altogether (in private). Veiling is the norm, so she’s well aware of the statement she’s making when she rejects it.

On the flip side, in France or Turkey — where there are laws against veiling inside various public institutions – a woman is, presumably, especially religious if she decides to take it up. Since not-veiling is the default, for Muslim and non-Muslim women alike, going against the grain of public opinion requires a commitment to Islam that most observers would understand to be something over and above the mere coincidence of being born into a Muslim family.

In the United States, however, it is precisely the freedom of choice I so cherish that makes this such a complicated decision for the Muslim women who live here. The cultural norm – the “average American” woman – is unveiled, but the predominant image of a Muslim woman, even among non-Muslims, is that of a muhajabah. Therefore a muslimah who decides not to veil is seen as transgressing against her community and will have her commitment to Islam doubted, while the woman who does decide to veil is seen as rejecting everything about American life save for her religious practice. We can’t win; there is no middle ground. Being 51% one way or the other is seen as a complete rejection of the other side.

In case you weren’t listening the first time around, let me be clear: I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m opposed to both the French ban on veiling and the Saudi mandate for it, and listening to the Dutch whine about the loss of their Pure Dutch Culture [sic] in the face of all these – gasp – immigrants is one of the few times I’m proud to be American, where multiculturalism is an established fact, however imperfectly it’s practiced.

But I also remember living in a country where the signifiers weren’t so strong. I’m told it’s different in Egypt now — that somewhere between 80 and 90 percent of Cairene women now veil — but when I was living there, in the early 1990s, it was closer to 50/50. I loved that. I loved, especially, that there was no great social divide between veiled and unveiled women; you’d see differences of opinion even within a single family. One of my sisters-in-law veiled, one did not, the third took it up for a few years and then changed her mind and took it off. None of this was a matter of any great controversy. It didn’t even merit much discussion.

This is not to downplay the choices Egyptian women had to make. One friend of mine at the university said her father never forced her to veil, but it was only after she decided to take it up that he allowed her study late at the library, walk home unattended, and otherwise participate in public space in ways he wouldn’t have permitted without her willingness to adopt the hijab and, accordingly, serve as walking symbolism for everything the hijab represented in the popular imagination. On the other side of that spectrum, there was another girl I knew, also Egyptian, who said she wanted to veil but worried it would interfere with her career as a journalist. She wanted to be a foreign correspondent, and she was afraid people would read so much into her scarf that they wouldn’t get around to reading her words.

Can the choice to veil or not veil in such a context truly be considered “free”? I don’t know. Then again, I know plenty of American women who will tell you no one forced them to diet, but they believed that being thin facilitated their right to speak with authority in a manner they’d have lost if they had to confront the bias against fat women in a country where being heavy is equated with a loss of self-control and a where a loss of self-control is considered shameful, if not downright sinful. My point here is not to excuse the former because of the existence of the latter: only to argue that there is nothing uniquely “Islamic” about a woman negotiating with the patriarchy, nothing specifically “Muslim” about a woman who trades in Her Personal Ideal in favor of getting what privileges she can with a minimal amount of compromise. We ladies, the world over and religion notwithstanding, have been doing that for thousands of years.

I wonder, though, if our notions of “Islamic dress” had evolved in such a way that the turban (for example) was considered as mandatory for men as the hijab is for women in some circles, would Muslim men in the West expound on the subject with the same confident manner they do now, one that is as flippant as it is self-assured? I’m sure 10% of men would wear it everywhere without a second thought, and another 10% would scoff at the mere idea of it. But for the majority, those in the middle, it would (I would hope) elicit a little more reflection. Do you risk community censure for being one of those “non-turban guys,” knowing that – before you even open your mouth – your bare head will be considered, by some, proof that you eat pork, drink alcohol, never pray, love capitalism, support colonialism and the war in Iraq, neglect your children, and cheat on your wife? Or do you take it up, knowing that, in different spheres, it will brand you as ignorant, ascetic, oppressed, and/or radical? Be careful! Remember, you don’t get to choose how you want to be seen at this event, or with that crowd of people: the choice you make has to be applicable for all times and circumstances. No fair picking one option for a family reunion or protest march, and another for your first nervous job interview at Chase Manhattan.

For a while, in Cairo, I lived across the street from a girls’ high school and would watch these young scholars stream out of class after the final bell. There would be the same roar of high-pitched laughter I recognize in teenage girls anywhere, in any country, as they coagulated in groups in the garden, or at the front gate: veiled girls interlinking their arms with girls who wore their hair uncovered, occasionally leaning over to whisper some secret that necessitated pushing back a girlfriend’s headscarf or ponytail, depending, in order to have access to her ear. The intimacy of girls that age is always charming to me, but it seems even more endearing in retrospect, knowing that they were doing something that, in so many parts of the world, would be considered a radical act: ignoring the politics of the veiled/unveiled split in favor of interacting with the human being inside.

—kufigirl

Purvis The Muslim at 10 June 07 :: #

Kufigirl,

Thank you for this amazing article. You hit the nail right on the head. I do not wear hijab, yet my best friend does and neither of us is the least bit concerned about it. I wish more people could treat each other this way..
HijabMan at 10 June 07 :: #

BAM!

:)
rawi at 11 June 07 :: #

What a wonderful post! Thank you so much for sharing.

Re. “Can the choice to veil or not veil in such a context truly be considered ‘free’?”... I think this is ostensibly a human, even existential, question. Is any choice truly free?
The Imugi at 11 June 07 :: #

I think this is probably one of the most (actually, maybe THE most) thourough and articulate writings on hijab and all the controversy it seems to generate. I especially liked this part:

“there is nothing uniquely “Islamic” about a woman negotiating with the patriarchy”

A very important thread that I think gets burried under the Orientalism and Jingoistic zeal that afflicts many discussions of Islam.
homeinkabul at 12 June 07 :: #

I agree with Imugi – way to summarize EVERYTHING i feel about the hijab. I linked to your post, i hope that is okay.
Will at 12 June 07 :: #

“BAM!” indeed.

Very well said, KufiGirl.
Hired Geek at 12 June 07 :: #

Kufigirl,

While I understand you veil-related angst, I think you may have overlooked the real problem that underlies the whole veil issue. It doesn’t really have much to do with women at all, rather, it seems like some sort of cultural throwback meant to keep the typically less-evolved, sexually repressed Muslim male from getting too horny.
Let’s face it somewhere back in time, some imam probably saw some male members of his community checking out some girls and thought to himself “How can I keep that from happening, so they think of Allah instead?” Possibly his intentions were honorable. Equally likely, he was just another Quran-thumper on a power trip. Voila, the veil was introduced to Islam.
It actually boggles my mind that this is even an issue for Islam. I have never heard any Quran reference that can be more than casually tied to the idea of veiling. I have also never heard a hadith (not that I would believe it if I did hear one), of any of the Prophet’s wives veiling, or the Prophet espousing the idea that women should veil. This is why I don’t understand why women choose to veil if they are not forced to. You are welcome to wear whatever you choose, but don’t tell me you do it because you are Muslim, because that makes no sense.
Unfortunately, I don’t think this issue will go away until the males of the Muslim Ummah get a clue and stop allowing women to be forced to wear the veil. Also unfortunately, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
Taromeet at 12 June 07 :: #

Excellent post, KG. Indeed we women have been “negotiating the patriarchy” since birth irregardless of religion, culture, etc. All of us. Every day.

Your post reminded me of my landlady in Damascus who insisted that all the unveiled women on the street were “Christians” as she put it. Which would have been a real challenge to official demographics in that city and was endlessly funny to me. I don’t wear it. I have plenty of friends who do and don’t. I agree that it gets tedious to discuss, but agree with those who said the discussion (and stereotyping) continues because some women are not allowed to make the decision for themselves and that’s simply wrong. And to your point of the flip side of who is the better feminist – Fatima Mernissi made similar points in Scheherazade Goes West.

Or perhaps it’s easier/safer/more cowardly for some to argue about veiling rather than to discuss more important topics related to sexuality and gender. Things like the huge number of young men and even boys I saw in Morocco and Syria viewing hardcore porn in internet cafes and the ensuing effects on these societies and the women that live in them. That’s one I would love to take on with whoever is willing, but when I’ve brought it up to some the response has often been flat out denial that these “good boys” would be watching such things or what the harm may be.

Salaam.
Umm Amirah at 12 June 07 :: #

ASA—I believe the edict to veil is given in Surah An-Nur ayat 31. Great post KG…it seems like people/governments/men make ‘mountains out of mole hills’ when it comes to HIJAB. Personally I believe veiling is personal..totally between the woman and Allah(swt). Veiling has NUTHING to do with piety or religiousity. Eman is in the HEART not the Head. Kudos, can’t wait to read more
Beth at 12 June 07 :: #

no mention of covering the head or hair or face or neck or nose in Surah Nur, verse 31. FYI.
Christine at 12 June 07 :: #

Thank you so much, Kufi Girl! You’re absolutely right, this is the debate that just won’t go away, no matter how much we try. I do not veil, but haven’t ruled out the possibility of wearing the hijab in the future. I also have friends who do and friends who don’t. For me, it’s not really an issue. I don’t feel that veiling or not veiling is a true indicator of my dedication to and practice of my faith. I don’t feel that wearing it or not wearing it makes me a better or worse Muslim. I do love the hijab, but I don’t feel it makes or breaks a sister’s iman and deen. It DOES make me crazy when others judge over the choice. Since my conversion, no one has asked me, “Sister, do you need any help calculating and understanding zakat?” or “Sister, we are volunteering at a soup kitchen downtown, why don’t you join us?” ... while I HAVE recieved endless questions over why I haven’t changed my name or taken the veil. For me, Islam is about so very much more than what I choose to wear or not wear on my head. Thank you for enlightening more people on this issue… or non-issue :)
Sadaf at 13 June 07 :: #

That’s all so true KG. People will always label you according to what you wear…. you just can’t win.
sabrina at 13 June 07 :: #

That is indeed a wonderful post. =) I heart the name Kufigirl! Is this copyrighted?

Even though I really believe that whether or not a Muslimah decides to wear a hijab or veil or niqab or what not should be personal choice, I actually do not appreciate it when some people claim that there is NO religious base for hijab in Islam. To me, I feel like it invalidates a muhajaba’s effort to please God the way SHE interpretes the verses from the Quran and some ahadith . I do recognize the multiple interpretability of Quranic verses and a personal way of interpreting the verses for each individual. So, when a non-hijabi sister decides on no wearing it because the verses from the Quran (Surah Nur) doesn’t say anything specifically about a veil, her choice should be respected and given due credit for her God-consciousness. In the same manner, when a hijabi sister interpretes the same verses as a command from God to wear a veil, I think she should also be given due credit.

These days, more and more people simply cancel a hijabi’s effort by saying “there is no basis for hijab in Islam”! How easy to say it to completely invalidate a woman’s hardship and effort! Afterall, it ain’t really all that easy to be the ONLY person sticking out with a covered head in your building/work/school/class, often getting hateful remarks from a random pedastrian, and being discriminated against at interviews. If she didn’t have that much conviction about her religion and God, she wouldn’t do it in a free society like America. So saying that all her work and effort is eventually pointless from a religious point of view is somewhat sad! So, instead of trying to figure out what is religious and what is NOT, let the women decide on it, and let them be God-conscious in their own way. After all, the vertical relationship with God is probably the most personal thing in life, or it should be, no?
Just a thought to the fellow commentors!! =)

much love and respect.
-sabrina
(* at 14 June 07 :: #

KG- On point. I really think this should be in some nonMuslim/Muslim/Women’s magazines.

Sabrina- I so agree with you. Self-rightousness in any form is never good times
Marya at 22 June 07 :: #

The proof in the Quran and Sunnah is there for anyone who bothers researching it. It is insulting that Muslim women state that the Hijab has absolutely no premise in Islam. If you’re not happy with the proofs, don’t simply state it as fact that evidence does not exist, for someone reading might be mislead (and guess who’ll get blamed in Allah’s court for that one). You don’t want to wear it, fine but don’t insult those seeking to please Allah SWT. Salam.
Alex at 22 June 07 :: #

Marya,

I think you miss the point.

As far as someone reading it being misled? Buddy. Hurting someone, polytheism, etc.. sure thats being misled.

A piece of cloth? I think we have bigger fish to fry.
Marya at 23 June 07 :: #

It’s misleading to state (not in the article, a comment) that the hijab (or khimar if you prefer) was “probably” introduced by an Imam “somewhere back in time”. That comment ignores historical facts and many narrations from the wives of the Prophet (but the author of that comment wouldn’t believe them anyway). Who’s really the closeminded one here? What kind of logical mind disregards evidence before it has already been given? I’m not bothered by women who don’t want to wear their hijab, it’s their choice. I’m bothered by women who scoff at Hijabis trying to please Allah SWT. Salamz.
Marya at 23 June 07 :: #

And trying to reduce the hijab to a “piece of cloth” is equally as bad. May Allah SWT forgave us for our shortcomings.
d at 28 June 07 :: #

All I know is this: I was molested on a bus when I was 12. I had no idea how to stop it and it affected me profoundly.
If I had been wearing hijab this would not have happened, because it allowed that man – and all the people on that bus – to divide the world into two, and I was on the wrong half.

If you’re doing it in the name of Allah, think twice what you’re doing, who you’re trying to please. I know that Allah is on the side of the downtrodden, whether or not they wear a hijab.

I would say more, but it’s going to come out ugly.
Fluke at 29 June 07 :: #

Being on a place with veiled women is a bit like being in a garden and not being able to look at the flowers…..
One at 29 June 07 :: #

The Hijab forces people to judge you based on your character, not looks. There’s not much debate, it is agreed upon by most scholars.
HijabMan at 29 June 07 :: #

One: As a man, I can say that the hijab doesn’t force me to judge a woman based on her character. I find women who wear hijab just as attractive as women who don’t, in fact, sometimes even more so. And, there is plenty of debate. This whole consensus thing is a played out myth, in my humble opinion

Welcome! This site serves two main purposes: to entertain and educate the Believing and curious community, and to generate a bit of cash—God willing. But there’s a lot more about HijabMan.

KG: To veil or not to veil: that is the question.

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