Muslim Personals: HijabMan

by HijabMan :: posted 25 November 06

Update: It worked. I’m getting married on June 26, 2010. Hahaha.

This is the [shameless] example of [my] Bio Data, spoken about here.

I’m in that vacuum that occurs post-college, pre-marriage. I like to think of it as the great void where it becomes increasingly difficult to meet people in your community.

I’m looking to meet a woman who has the following qualities, just note that they are all flexible to one degree or another. The most important thing, obviously, is a good heart. – intelligent/common sense – easily amused/quick to smile/must be weird
-wanting to be/or being pious/spiritual
-her islam is self-informed (i.e. she hasn’t learned it through hearsay)
-sees the connection between islam and social justice
-likes to cuddle
-wants an egalitarian marriage, rather than a traditional marriage. i.e. she and I both work outside the home, inside the home, and most money coming in is considered ‘ours.’ I don’t believe in mine and yours in marriage. Of course, after kiddies come things flex a bit into more traditional roles.

Why do I want to get married?

I like to share. God says marriage is [supposed to be] peace and tranquility, well, who wouldn’t want to strive for that? To build a relationship like that? Besides. Sharing means caring.

Who am I?

As far as my Islam? Well. The Qur’an. I don’t use hadith as a religious source of guidance, but more as a historical tool, knowing that it is a hearsay account of what was happening back then. I used to live between two mosques that pray in different directions. At the time, I didn’t mind praying either way, but I usually pray the “wrong” way according to most people. It isn’t for any religious reason, it’s just that the mosque that prays Southeast is much more family and women friendly. Think REM’s Shiny Happy People Holding Hands. Besides, piety isn’t in facing the East or the West, is it? I approach my life with universal principles and try to realize those principles fully. I am definitely not your average American Muslim guy of Pakistani descent. My undergraduate degree focused on Psychology, Middle Eastern Studies, and Women’s Studies.

I don’t mind dancing in public much. For me, it is a ritual through which I can remember God, by being grateful for this body that God gave me. Consequently, music doesn’t bother me. Hijab? I don’t believe it’s obligatory, and to be completely honest, I have a bit of an aversion to it. Generally speaking, for me, Islam is about 1. Believing (God-Consciousness/Taqwa) 2. Doing Good 3. Consistently trying to better one’s self. 4. Awareness that I will be judged.

Humor, if you haven’t noticed by now, is my most salient coping mechanism. I can laugh about anything. That doesn’t mean I don’t take it seriously, however. Quite the opposite, in fact. But for me to be able to deal with and try to change the world effectively, I laugh. People respond to positivity. I respond to positivity.

My family is fairly liberal and laid back. They like to dance at weddings. When we get together, we end up discussing something like abject poverty or our various interpretations of certain Qur’anic principles. We’re also fond of potty humor, especially since the birth of my two nieces.

If you want a doctor with a six-figure salary, I am not your man. If you are stuck on ideas of what is ‘islamic’ and ‘unislamic’ I am not your man.

If, on the other hand, you want a man who is emotionally available, good with kids, constantly trying to improve himself, makes a modest salary, and who likes to fly kites, play frisbee, and go hiking, then you should probably contact me.

Especially if you are on the earthie-crunchy side. :)

Thanks for reading.

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1. Leena at 6 December 06 :: #

   Lovely! And amazing that you know people who use the word “mercurial”. :-)

2. Tones. at 8 December 06 :: #

   You didn’t say whether you’re any good in the kitchen. hmmmm ?