National Organization Of (Some) Women Gets It Wrong, More On Muzzammil Hassan And Domestic Violence

by KufiGirl :: posted 19 February 09

photo courtesy of yasmine

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from KufiGirl

When HijabMan posted his entry on the murder of Aasiya Hassan yesterday, “On Giving Men a Free Pass,” I was thankful. It was, I thought, another sign that the Muslim community is taking the issue of domestic violence seriously. In some cases the talk is coming from corners where the discussion is long overdue – there’s no use pretending otherwise – but if there is any small good that can come out of this woman’s brutal murder I hope that it will be in the form of more attention to violence against women, and the need for Muslim leaders, in particular, to address it.

Secular North American feminists have been at the forefront of this issue since the 1970s. In theory, they should be playing a leadership role as well. Instead, though, we get quotes like this from NOW-New York, attacking the use of the term “domestic violence” in Aasiya Hassan’s case:

The ridiculous juxtaposition of “domestic” and “beheading” in the same journalistic breath points up the inherent weakness of the whole “domestic violence” lexicon… This was, apparently, a terroristic version of “honor killing,” a murder rooted in cultural notions about women’s subordination to men. Are we now so respectful of the Muslim’s religion that we soft-peddle atrocities committed in it’s name?

I’m not sure what a “terroristic version” of an honor killing is, or how it’s worse than the regular kind. But I do know that “cultural notions about women’s subordination to men” are not limited to Muslim countries. And the thing is? Marcia Pappas, NOW-New York’s president, should know that, too. I expect sensationalistic coverage from FOX News (who tell us divorce “is not permitted in their culture,” and that such crimes will increase if left “unchecked by Western law”). But mainstream feminist groups like NOW keep doggedly insisting, year after year, that no, really, we speak for all women, not just white middle-class women. Really! We swear! And yet when something like this happens, they inevitably revert to the same tired script: When white men kill white women, they do it out of misogyny. But when brown men kill brown women, they do it because they’re, well, brown.

Last year I attended a conference at UMass-Boston called “Engaging Islam,” where Lila Abu-Lughod, a Palestinian-American feminist anthropologist who has done work in Egypt, gave a talk about honor killings. As she was researching this issue, she found that many cases of family-based violence in the Muslim world were labeled “honor crimes” but did not have the characteristics that would merit this label (i.e., a girl killed by male family members over real or imagined sexual indiscretions); for example, one case was that of a Palestinian father who likely killed his daughter because she was about to expose him as an informant. While family-based violence should be a serious issue in any circumstance, there was nothing uniquely Muslim about this case. This lack of distinction between forms of violence, she found, was typical of research on the subject; reported numbers of honor killings varied dramatically, from fourteen a year to four thousand a year, depending on how “honor killing” was defined.

She also asked how descriptions of these situations capture the flow of life-as-lived in areas where these acts are practiced. In her own fieldwork with the Awlad ‘Ali Bedouin in Egypt, she said, the emphasis on honor and morality was true, but girls’ lives could not be reduced to those factors – as in any community they were valued for their individual personalities, scolded for their mistakes, and so forth. And, as in all societies, there were violent husbands, brothers who committed incest, and other transgressions, but the perpetrators were considered as individuals, not men who were acting out their “culture.” Finally, she said there is no evidence of honor crimes being on the increase (because the state of research on the subject is so inconsistent), but if this is true, it’s more likely to be found in areas of rapidly changing social circumstances, rather than being an example of societies following an “ancient code of morality.”

Was Aasiya Hassan’s murder an honor killing? There’s no evidence of that. We’ve only heard that she wanted a divorce. While that clearly infuriated her husband, there’s nothing “Muslim” about such fury. It has been well-documented that one of the most dangerous times, for a woman who has been the victim of domestic violence, is when she finally decides to leave. The question, for feminists, is how to condemn honor crimes without playing into a wider discourse that depicts Muslim women as abject and “Other.”

This is not the first time that a large, mainstream feminist organization that claims to speak for all women has made it clear that it only speaks for some. We should expect better.

KufiGirl, a regular guest @ hijabman, now blogs at laura.fo as well. Go visit her!

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1. Purvis The Muslim at 19 February 09 :: #

   “It has been well-documented that one of the most dangerous times, for a woman who has been the victim of domestic violence, is when she finally decides to leave.”

   This is so true.. I was at a health fair and had a long talk with a lady who deals with domestic abuse victims, and she told me that a lot of people don’t get that—they tell the abused woman to “just leave,” without realizing it could cost her her life if the abuser knows where to find her.

2. Preeti at 19 February 09 :: #

   I’m definitely a fan of your writing, Kufigirl, and glad to see a post by you here again!

   Regarding this issue, I definitely agree, NOW’s stance is ridiculous. But hope is not lost I think.

   Check out this link: http://jezebel.com/5155635/murder-of-muslim+american-woman-sparks-media-frenzy

   This is from a feminist leaning site I read regularly. There was a post about this story and most of the commenters jumped to define this crime as domestic violence versus calling it an “honor killing.” The site is comprised of a wide variety of readers both here in the US and international, so it does give me hope that not everyone views this incident through some kind of cultural tilt shift lens.

3. dina at 19 February 09 :: #

   what’s “domestic” about any kind of violence? i am sad at their rhetoric, calling this event “terroristic.” completely and disgustingly racist.

4. Farheen Hakeem at 19 February 09 :: #

   Farheen Hakeem
   Minneapolis, MN 55407

   Marcia Pappas
   Address: NOW – New York State, Inc.
   1500 Central Avenue
   Albany, New York 12205

   February 19, 2009

   RE: PRESS RELEASE: Woman Beheaded in New York State; National Organization for Women – NYS Questions Media Blackout February 16, 2009
   http://www.nownys.org/pr_2009/pr_021609.html

   Dear Ms. Pappas,

   My name is Farheen Hakeem, and I live in Minnesota. For this last few years, I have ran for political office in Minneapolis, and I have been endorsed by Minnesota NOW PAC a couple of times.

   If you know of my work, you know that I do identify as a feminist, that I stand up for women rights here in the Twin Cities, and I work for the Girl Scouts teaching leadership skills to young Muslim girls. You would also know that when I am not running for office, I am an activist promoting many feminist issues such as welfare rights, child welfare reform, unemployment, single payer universal healthcare, and stopping the foreclosure crisis.

   It has been brought to my attention that you had commented on the murder of Aasiya Zubair, and said in a press release, “a terroristic version of ‘honor killing,’ a murder rooted in cultural notions about women’s subordination to men. Are we now so respectful of the Muslim’s religion that we soft-peddle atrocities committed in it’s name?”

   I’m deeply hurt with your choice of words in your press release. I am upset that you would call a crime that a Muslim does to be “terroristic”. There is no question that the killing of Aasiya Zubair is despicable. Yet, to attack the victim based on her race and religion is not acceptable.

   I believe that part of being a feminist means that you must also be an anti-racist. I don’t believe that you are going to cultivate support, especially among women of color, if you insult them based on your bias and stereotypes. Women of color that are in domestic abuse situations are not going to get out of it if they are told they are part of a religion or a culture that has caused it. Are you implying they should give up their culture and religion? And what should they sign up for, White-American culture and Christian religion? Is your implication that participants in White-American culture and Christian religion have no problems of domestic abuse? As a Muslim woman, that last time I checked, I have not seen a group of white people opening their arms and saying “Welcome, come on in! Join us! We are all family here!”

   You later on continue to say, “Millions of women in this country are maimed and killed by their husbands or partners. Had this awful murder been perpetrated by an African American, a Latino, a Jew, or a Catholic, the story would be flooding the airwaves. What is this deafening silence?” Actually, this is not true. I am sure that the media practices equal opportunity sexism. After all, we just need to look back at Candidates such Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin and see very clearly the sexism and the misgyony there. In addition, if an African American, a Latino, a Jew, or a Catholic committed this crime, I am pretty sure that you would not use the words like “a terroristic version of “honor killing” to describe this hideous act.

   Domestic abuse happens in all communities, it does not matter what color of skin, what religion practiced, or what socioeconomic status people are. We all as feminists know this. Ms. Pappas, do you? The difference is when the attacker, perpetrator, or killer is Muslim, words such as terrorism, honor killings, and “it’s a part of their culture” are used. This is also unacceptable.

   We Muslims have problems just like everyone else; there is no reason to use racism to tell people that we are sub-human beings that belong to a culture/religion that perpetuates violence. I believe that if Aasiya Zubair was alive today, she would also be hurt by what you say. Mostly because we do not have “cultural notions about women’s subordination to men.” as many white women who claim to be feminist believe. I have been Muslim all of my life, and never had I heard of “honor killings” or “women’s subordination to men,” in Islam until white women who claim to be feminist have told me about it. Aasiya Zubair’s murder did not happen in the name of Islam, for Muslims, or for Allah. It happened just like the killings of millions of women around the world by US made weapons which we fund with our tax money – heartless hate and addiction for power.

   Please understand the words that you say, and the power and privilege behind them. It was very hurtful, and very demeaning to hear, and I hope that you will soon be apologizing for your insulting remarks about Muslims. Minnesota NOW has asked me to come in and speak about many issues, and if you would like to fly me out to New York to educate you about Islam, Muslims and feminism, please invite me. I would be more than happy to come.

   Sincerely,

   Farheen Hakeem

5. KufiGirl at 19 February 09 :: #

   Purvis: Yes. Last night, when HM and I were talking about this, we were wondering what other cases like this one had happened recently. He started looking around and said ‘this happens a lot. A LOT. type in “man kills wife” into google news, and it’s neverending.’ Most of the cases were when a woman decided to leave (in one case, when a woman changed her Facebook status to “single”).

   Preeti: Thanks for linking to that. I saw that yesterday and I, too, was pleased that a not-specifically-Muslim site was talking about it in a way that didn’t excuse his actions but didn’t talk about it in Orientalizing terms.

6. KufiGirl at 19 February 09 :: #

   Farheen: Well said. Please let us know if there is a response.

7. Freckles at 19 February 09 :: #

   Welcome back, KG. I love your posts!

   After a million examples of Othering Muslims in the media (esp. in the white Western feminist media), you’d think I’d get used to it, but it still pisses me off. Why was Scott Peterson’s religion not mentioned when he killed his wife and unborn son? Why do so many domestic violence-related murders never mention the ethnicity or religion of the parties involved unless they’re exotic Others? How does being Muslim make one apt to commit these sorts of crimes than non-Muslims? My bet (a halal one, of course) is that when you look at the numbers, Muslim husbands are no more likely than non-Muslim husbands to abuse and murder their wives and children. Perhaps even less so, though I am biased. At any rate, the sensationalization of these sorts of cases only hurts Muslims and obscures reality for other ethnic/religious/cultural groups.

8. Laura at 19 February 09 :: #

   http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2009/02/18/murder_while_Muslim/index.html

   Further to Preeti, another response from an outwardly feminist site that I love. I completely agree that some western feminisms white wash issues, but I hestitate to say it is the majority. Most of the considered discussions of honour killings and issues of race, religion, culture and gender I have read have been posted on feminist blogs. I understand the hesitations and concerns, but, since converting, I’ve noticed a strong tendency amongst Muslims to talk about feminists and feminism as though they are over there and we are over here. We are muslim (feminists) and they are just feminists and it’s a troubling split. I get the impulse, absolutely, and I do it myself all the time. I understand that there are certainly issues of exclusion, voice, ethnocentrism in most/all feminist communities and this poses serious problems for muslim feminists that secular or white insert other privileged position here feminists don’t have to take as seriously, or have the option of discussing as one of many issues rather than The issue. I wonder often, and especially from my new position as muslim and feminist, how those identities mix, where I fit in a broader feminist context and a broader muslim context. I’m still working on it, but thanks for these pieces hijabman and kufigirl. Since converting, this blog has become my haven/portal-to-hope in a scary and confusing new muslim community :)

9. Jacqueline A. Gross at 19 February 09 :: #

   Dear KufiGirl

   I was pointed to this post by a friend and I wanted to commend you on such a nuanced perspective. I’m afraid I don’t have too much faith in getting a decent response from NOW, however.

   Here’s a copy of a letter I sent to them after a maddening piece written about Race vs. Gender in the US election race.

   http://ladyjax.livejournal.com/570958.html

   I included a link to the original essay, my written response and then the response I got back. Sadly, it just reinforced for me that NOW is out of touch with a lot of women – they just don’t like to admit it.

   Again, great post. I hope to see more of your writing in the future.

10. M. Landers at 19 February 09 :: #

    Saying otherwise would require such organizations to admit how interwoven and non-culturally specific “domestic violence” and “honor killing” really is. Not going to happen anytime soon.

11. manzoori at 19 February 09 :: #

    Good article. I used to be one of those who said ‘any woman who’s being abused should know better and leave.’ After being abused, you realize 1.) it’s like being a frog in a pot of water and someone is raising the temperature very slowly. Before you even realize what’s happening, the other person has a huge amount of control over you. And 2.) it is even more threatening to leave. You have to be smart and have good people protecting you. I’m still waiting to hear why no one was around at the station when this took place on a weekday afternoon?

    And maybe there should be a counter response to the prosecutor’s office to take ‘honor killing’ wording out of the charges.

12. TMoney at 19 February 09 :: #

    Great post, KG. I’m high school friends with our former/current Minnesota NOW chapter pres. I’m thinking of pointing her in this direction to see if we can’t locally inspire more nuanced discussion as you’ve exemplified.

    Farheen! Minnesota, represent!

13. Asad at 19 February 09 :: #

    Salaams,

    Just to get things straight in my head. HijabMan was saying that violence against women is a big problem in South Asian culture. KufiGirl is saying that honor killing exists, but to typify all violence committed by Muslim men against Muslim women as honor killing is not only theoretically wrong – but it betrays an Orientalist attitude characterizing the motives of Muslim men as completely different from their Western counterparts. Is that right?

    Now it seems to me that there is a bit of inconsistency in these two positions. Because HM is saying that the problem is in part based on culture, whereas KG is saying that the problem is a universal one committed by some men in all communities.

    Am I just confused or do these two stances seem a bit inconsistent?

    ma’as salaama

    *p.s. this is not a challenge or anything. I am completely on board with you guys in abhorrence to all violence against women and combating the problem. Just trying to get my “theoretical” bearings straight in understanding what you guys are saying.

14. KufiGirl at 19 February 09 :: #

    Asad: Thanks for your question.

    I think both HM and I agree that domestic violence does (and unfortunately will continue to) happen in all communities, including Muslim communities. The question here is one of response. HM felt the Muslim/South Asian community does not provide enough support to women trying to leave (and that yes, some of this is cultural). But that’s different from saying that domestic violence happens more frequently or is even inherent, universal, and unavoidable in Muslim communities — which is what I felt NOW was implying.

    Both HM and I are speaking to our own communities — he to South Asian/Muslim men, me to white feminists — and asking for more accountability.

    But we are both talking about the reaction to violence. Neither one of us is saying that Mr. Hassan himself was driven to his actions because of his culture or religion, and we would both criticize anyone who makes that case.

15. Asad at 19 February 09 :: #

    Thanks KufiGirl that really clears things up.