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"No One From Here Wants To Marry You? HAHAHA!" - My Mother

by HijabMan :: posted 9 December 06

Thanks Mom. Love you too.

I am getting responses to my bio data. They just tend to be from Uttar Pradesh, India. And they average 3 of the 5 mistakes that people make when creating a bio data! Not bad.

Here is one of them:

The Parent of a slim, very fair, smart, beautiful, intelligent, soft spoken, accommodative, sweet natured. 24yrs, 5’4”, 50 kg, practicing Muslim Girl, seek match of compatible qualities & status. Girl is educated upto M. A. (Sociology), Diploma in DTP, has interest in reading, very proficient in household work. Girl belongs to a nicely educated respected and small family. Father – employed in state govt. , Mother – homemaker, only one younger brother – college going. Father owns agricultural land & residence. Maternal family consists of Engineers and IT professionals and owns agro lands and own residences. Family stays in ancestral town in West UP.

At least she isn’t wheatish.

Go ahead, click that link. Notice how all of them are described as wheatish and yet they all appear to be a different color. Many of them are missing persons. If everyone is wheatish, how do they find anybody? What does real wheat look like?

Pshh, easy for you to say, you pasty Paki boy!

That’s lightly washed basmati to you, buddy.

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1. Saadia at 9 December 06 :: #

   lol…thanks. This just made my day.

2. deeba at 10 December 06 :: #

   personally i prefer paper bag brown

3. sabrina at 10 December 06 :: #

   oh my God!
   Where do you get these from???? (serious LOL)
   I loved your biodata! You should hold some workshop for the guys to learn how to write a biodata ;)

4. slit at 10 December 06 :: #

   That comment from your mom is hysterical. :) Are you SURE you don’t have mommy issues? Because I think I would.

5. biyah at 10 December 06 :: #

   hahahaha….lightly washed basmati.

   come onnnnnn hijjy bhai, she’s beautiful AND “very proficient in household work”. there ain’t nothing wrong with her.

6. nazia at 10 December 06 :: #

   hey, dont diss Uttar pradesh…it’s my homestate. anywho, this sure gave me a good laugh!

7. Hasan at 10 December 06 :: #

   What determines proficiency in housework?

8. tiktiki at 10 December 06 :: #

   heehee- that’s hilarious.

   hasan— I think you have to take an aptitude test for that. :)

9. HijabMan at 11 December 06 :: #

   I ain’t dissin’ UP, and hey, proficiency in housework don’t matter. I mean, how proficient you gotta be to mop the floor? All you need is a Roomba

   I still don’t have mommy issues.

   And yes, I’m basmati.

10. nashat at 11 December 06 :: #

    Haha, now that I know what color wheat really is, I can safely say that I AM wheatish. Yes I am HM, and you know it!

11. Aisha at 13 December 06 :: #

    LOL. I never heard this description before but apparently Sheikh Google has confirmed the use by actual people of their skin color. Go fig!

12. HM at 13 December 06 :: #

    Aisha. Shaykh Google, MashaAllah is more knowledgeable than any local imams, I’ll tell you that much

13. Nazmanian devil at 14 December 06 :: #

    I thought I sent a comment that read: Ill marry you. But I dont think your mother would be happy since Im rude, obnoxious and rough.
    PS: Im waiting for the free tshirt : small things come in great pakis.

    ciao. nazreen from mirc

14. AJ at 17 December 06 :: #

    Nazreen of mirc, as in THE nazreen of #islam undernet (and maybe dalnet)

15. teri at 18 December 06 :: #

    that’s hilarious.

    i know the feeling. my mom’s teasing me about the same thing. i’ve gotten some proposals from people in morocco, but they admit they just want the residency. fun, huh?

16. SS at 22 December 06 :: #

    Lol your mum sounds alot like mine, except she would never actually use the words ‘marry’ or ‘marriage’ exactly, just allude to them.

    I have mommy issues. Or rather, she has issues. Btw i have alot of your badges – are they yours? – with those funny remarks. People often stare at my bag on the tram becauseo of said badges. Keep up the good work :)

17. FerozManzil at 27 December 06 :: #

    Salaam alaikum,

    This place is turning slowly into a “joke-a-day” format. Instead of writing about the cultural rotting that we as muslims suffer back in our countries and highlighting the lack of Islamic teachings governing our lives, you choose to mock and make fun of it.
    May Allah(swt) guide all of us and make us people of concern for each other .

18. HM at 27 December 06 :: #

    Dearest Feroz,

    The intention is not to mock and make fun of it. A way in which one can “highlight the lack of Islamic teachings” and “cultural rotting” of which you speak is to poke fun about it. Sometimes it is the only way I can deal with the world. Humor is my coping mechanism.

    And I try to mix it up. Jokes are mixed with specific, more serious articles. For instance, Check out the one on wrestling or junk food in mosques.

    I understand where you are coming from, however. But I think that you must try to understand that we all deal with the problems in different ways. Some make jokes, so that the spirits are lightened for others to go out and change things. , for instance. Take for example doctors, and lawyers, and those who work in dire conditions. If you’ve ever hung out with doctors, you’ll see how they deal with the stress. They joke.

19. Ruby at 30 December 06 :: #

    I have been idly wondering what color real wheat was for years! I’ve been too lazy to Google. Thanks for the enlightenment!