On My Style Of Wedding Photography

by HijabMan :: posted 27 February 09

The official photographer at the last South Asian wedding that I unofficially photographed was a white woman who made a pretty bad first impression. According to other guests, she was rude, and not so pleasant to be around. She was hired to do most of the ‘official photography.’ I was hired to document the event in a journalistic style.

On the second day of the wedding, she approached me haughtily, “So what, are you going to follow me around again?” A few years ago, I would’ve let her have it. I held my tongue, however, and simply walked away. A few minutes later, she approached me and apologized for her tone and her words. She said she had felt disrespected the night before when people were taking photographs and ‘wouldn’t let her do her job.’

I explained politely that being a paid photographer, in part, is dealing with those hundreds of uncles with digital cameras, and still coming out with great shots. She continued, expressing frustration. She maintained that she had done ‘hundreds of South Asian weddings’ and had ‘years of experience.’ Being somewhat of an arrogant goober myself sometimes, I knew what I was dealing with.

Before I responded, I made sure my tone was level but assertive, “Between you and me, the consensus of other guests, was that you were rude last night.”*

“Yeah, this culture usually thinks that,” she replied nonchalantly.

And with that, I knew everything I needed to know about her. The technical aspects of her photography may be okay, but she had very little bond with the people she was photographing. Her photographs did not show their personalities, the love, or intimacies between them. They were just photographs.

What I love even more than photography itself is creating intimate bonds with people.

While many photographers just photograph the main events themselves, my preference is to document the entire thing, from the day before until the day after. I like to get to know each member of the family, and in a sense, become part of the family. I’ve been blessed with an ability to make connections pretty fast. And for me, that is the key to good photographs. If the bond between the photographer and photographed is there, you can really capture someone’s personality.

So, when I got the text message on Monday, “You are phenomenal and my family loves you.” I knew I succeeded— without even looking at the photographs (though those seem to be pretty darn good too ;)

*I truly struggled with whether or not it was my place to speak to her about her behavior. In general, I would never do such a thing at someone else’s wedding. However, I decided to go for it, in the hopes that it would make the situation better. Thankfully, after we had that talk, to her credit, the official photographer was much more polite, and worked with other photographers, so that everyone could get a great shot in.

Click here to see my portfolio!

I’ll be adding to that section regularly, including photos from Egypt, Syria, Argentina, and other travels!

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1. qudsia at 28 February 09 :: #

   not to burst your bubble, but most event photographers do this. in fact, it’s pretty standard practice – lest they want to lose customers (or not get referred to others)

2. HijabMan at 28 February 09 :: #

   Do what, Qudsia?

   If you are talking about those who take the time out to actually meet/greet/get to know people, you’d be surprised how many photographers turn out to be ridiculously horrible to work with. I’ve come across more bad eggs than good ones. The guy who did my niece's aqiqa for instance, really rubbed my family the wrong way when he basically held the pictures hostage--- and wanted to charge an extra amount for all the images on a DVD, and hopped out before his contractual time...

   If you are speaking about the length of time they invest in the wedding—- most photographers I’ve come across just do the main events themselves—- every wedding I’ve been to, they’ve stayed for the events themselves and then left.

   In fact, at one of the weddings I unofficially photographed, I was asked to stay, and continue doing family portraits, because the official photographer left.

   Also, could you send my book back to me? i’ll pay shipping. :)

3. Humaira at 28 February 09 :: #

   Wow, I didn’t realise that at all, thanks for the tip!

   I wish you were here in the UK Hijabman, I’d totally hire you if I was getting married!

4. Purvis the Muslim at 28 February 09 :: #

   Wow… what a beeesh!

5. sogul at 3 March 09 :: #

   checked out your portfolio and all I can say is WOW! You are really good! What camera do you use? I especially like how you capture the magic in some of those delicate moments

6. sisternebraska at 3 March 09 :: #

   Ditto—in ten years or so, I’ll be calling you up for wedding pictures. :) They’re so beautiful! And I would definitely agree that candid shots are so much better when the subjects like the person behind the camera.

7. amster at 3 March 09 :: #

   i admire the ‘getting to actually know the family’ approach because the results showcase the beneficial effect it has — the pictures actually show emotion and such an intense closeness to the subjects

   the photographer at my sister’s wedding didn’t even know i was her sister (or who was in our immediate family for that matter !)

   =^/