The Fascinating World Of Muslim Personals On Non-Muslim Sites

by HijabMan :: posted 23 September 08

If you haven’t already guessed, I find American Muslims fascinating, particularly in the way men and women find partners.

At the age of sixteen or so, I came across my first Muslim matrimonial site. As many women will tell you, these sites are full of intelligent beautiful women and not-so-appealing men.

During that time, sitting at home in the suburbs without any Muslim friends and waiting for college to begin, I spent some time on sites like shaadi.com, islamicmatches.com and muslimwedding.org. I tried them all despite being sixteen and not looking for someone to marry, obviously. (Is that laughter, I hear?).

In fact, I made lots of friends through these sites, though we’ve all lost touch. I remember right after 9/11, I met a flight attendant who had just converted to Islam. We threw a few e-mails back and forth and told our stories.

At some point, curiosity got the best of me, and I wondered what it would be like to search for Muslims on non-Muslim dating sites, like Yahoo! Personals. I found that most of the Muslim-specific matrimonial sites were heavily populated by South Asians. Arablounge.com seemed to be standard for Arab Muslims.

A quick search on Yahoo! and you find Caucasians, African Americans, and Muslims of Southeast Asian descent.

So that’s where they were hiding!

Now, years later, while trying to hook up some of my female friends, I thought I’d give CraigsList a whirl. Verdict? CraigsList is where all of the non-mainstream Muslims go. All of the people who may be outcasts in their local community are present, including the silent, average-joe Muslims. Many are not particularly religious but still identify as Muslim. You’ll also find divorced men & women, LGBT folks, and the folks who just want to have “fun.”

A few months ago, a couple of my friends came over and I introduced them to this wild Muslim underworld. The first ad we came across? A “hot Muslim girl” looking for… another girl.

That night we also found a “divorced Egyptian man whose ‘only sin is smoking.’ Today, if you look at Muslim personals on Craig’s List, here is a sampling of what you’ll find:

A 37 year old woman in DC who just wants to meet a guy who won’t jump on her on their first meeting. And I quote, “If you are Muslim and a kind person who won’t jump on me and try to kiss me the first time we meet, then maybe you’re the one.”

An Egyptian Prince looking for a second wife.

A Black Muslim in London with one child who works as a teacher. He likes motorcycles and ancient civilizations.

This 29 year old Virginian has given up, stating simply, “I can’t find any well-educated Muslim girls.” I think he may also be live under a rock.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist. :)

Here is a sweet-sounding mother of two, just looking for a good guy.

A 22 year old graduate of Virginia Tech who isn’t very religious. Her parents are Iranian, and she wants a guy who gives good massages.

A 33 year old West African woman in Houston…

A 33 year old in Orange County, having a lonely Ramadan. He just wants some female fasting buddies…

A loving and attractive 49 year old man seeks a lady with serious intentions only.

Perverts need not apply to this woman in Orange County who works in Biotech and grew up in Europe

Non-religious Indian Muslim doctors are a dime-a-dozen, but a Muslim man in Brazil and a woman whose favorite numbers are 7041 are rare finds!

Honorable mention goes to this single father who votes independent, and my boys in Toronto, May God bless them with someone who will knock some sense into them

While not all of the ads on CraigsList and Yahoo! Personals are related to marriage, I think it is very clear that Muslims in the West are using any means necessary to look for spouses. This includes but is not limited to on-line classifieds.

It’s just that a lot of the more ‘interesting’ ones are on CraigsList!

Javi at 23 September 08 :: #

I just need to put this out there – and might even perhaps go so far as to ‘educate’ the egyptian prince with the doctorate. Sex of a child is determined by the father NOT the mother (i’m sure that there are situations such as http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060705220807AAlXKyn that occur but for the most part it is the father)- so adding another wife won’t do squat. GRRRR why are people so dumb sometimes?!
KufiGirl at 23 September 08 :: #

Yeah, gotta love that “WE decided to add another wife.” Oh, “we” did?
TMoney at 24 September 08 :: #

salam bro. neat post and kudos on the net research. i suspected you ran a personals search on craigslist on the lefthand sidebar, so i did the same in some regions and found the same ones you mentioned. i love the guy who puts the one liners just looking for nice muslim girls, randomly. funny thing, though, when i ran the search in minneapolis/st. paul, all i got back was mostly stuff on how much the locals hate somalis and on how obama is actually a secret muslim – not a single single muslim searching! boring. i suspect our population dynamics are way different than major muslim city centers, though, so it makes sense. either way, you’re right: muslims are all over looking, i think.
Tee at 24 September 08 :: #

Lol, this was funny : )
MuslimDad at 24 September 08 :: #

It is however legitimate. As I search for a spouse (make dua’ for me), I am finding myself thinking more and more about avenues such as Craigslist (though I haven’t yet).

I have however been bombarded with suggestions for shaadi.com and other sites of the like.

I find myself challenged – where does one meet a sister who would be interested in marriage, and how does one start off the conversation?
OmarG at 24 September 08 :: #

@MuslimDad: dont’t bother with craigslist. Although I haven’t gone that far yet, I’ve used it for tech stuff. Given the quality of people I see on the personal ads, I’d say its a huge gamble and shot in the dark. Be prepared for lots of phoneys and scammers…

But seriously, although its easy to find someone on the net to talk to, I’m learning that the best prospects are through friends, word of mouth and personal introductions at Muslim events. Don’t be afraid to let people know, tactfully, that you’re looking and are serious. The trust factor is the clincher, and people tend to trust thier freinds more than an ad from a stranger.
Jannah at 29 September 08 :: #

“If I needed someone to love…”
Well, I don’t, but if I did— now I know where to go.
baji at 30 September 08 :: #

not just ‘no perverts’ but also no “bad guys or girls and others”. drat, no dogs allowed!
snowdrops at 5 October 08 :: #

You’ve just got me interested in this. Not that I’m looking for anyone. Not for the next 10 years at least. =D

Welcome! This site serves two main purposes: to entertain and educate the Believing and curious community, and to generate a bit of cash—God willing. But there’s a lot more about HijabMan.

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