This is Picard of The Starship Enterprise We Have Docked

by HijabMan :: posted 19 December 99

Written at age 16

Well, I have started carrying a a notepad…so I can more easily remember what I was going to say. I revolve around this journal.. the journal revoles around me. On Friday night (this friday night was about two weeks ago) my sister called, I had been avoiding her since I hadnt done anything with my college applications. (If I forget about it, maybe it’ll go away! .. I feel like a 4 year old, when they cover their face and say, “you can’t see me! You can’t see me!” Spontaneously, we decided that I should fly up there the next morning (Saturday). And so I did. I boarded the plane (737.. always good.. can’t do a 727, too rickety!) first at about 8 AM (due to the fact that some people consider me a child traveling alone). When did we take off? About an hour later. Why? We had no brakes. What do brakes have to do with flying? Well anywho, it took an hour… and we took off, needless to say I was a bit
scared.. so when the pilot came on the intercom thing,
I jumped. There were about 40 people on the plane, it
was a 737. I had 3 seats to myself and laid down for the flight. Had some nice lipton ice tea. Only about an hour flight The plain landed, and got to the gate. Where we stayed for about 30 minutes. Why? The jetway (the little tunnel thing that comes out from the airport) was stuck about a foot away from the airplane.. so it took 30 minutes for the airport to declare it inoperable, and instead of moving the plane over a foot, they pushed the airplane back and drove us to a new gate, where the captain said, “This is Picard of the starship enterprise we have docked” We know how long the guy wanted to do that for a long time. While at my sis’s house I just worked on essays the whole weekend, fell asleep a few times (once during “being human” starring Robin Williams. My sister makes the best tasting nutritious food.. I ate green potatoes, and rice, peas and cheese sauce.. I could live on that stuff. But at home all I eat are tastycakes (the danish’s are good), cookies and milk (the proper way to eat cookies is to submerge them in milk until all the bubbles come out then placing the whole mooshy glob into your mouth.. squishing it around.. and then swallowing). After two days of intensive writing, I had to fly home. But to see me off, she bought me icecream. Chocolate icecream with strawberry topping and whipped cream, the most messy, yet greatest combination ever made. We got to the airport with time to spare, and as I peered out of the window.. I see a small little airplane. I look at my ticket. Seat 17 F .. (i’ve had that seat for the past 3 times ive flown) Well F.. there must be 6 rows I thought.. it has to be a 737.. but its so close to the ground. Boarding started, and as I got to my seat. I looked at ceiling compartments (which label what seat is A, what seat is be.. etc) Turns out they skip the letter B. It’s a 727, and some of the seats in the 3 seat side are missing. How nice. I get to my seat and I have all three to myself again. Now, I’m extremely scared. It’s noisy, and as we’re landing, the noise stops. I think we are going to die. It seems as though it has three engines, two to the sides, and one on top.. the big bad boy. I guess they turn off the big bad boy.. and it seems as if we are just floating. It’s “deathly” quiet. But we land safely. (Oh, and I was praying throughout the whole flight…) The next day I fell asleep during my last period (an hour and a half of what used to be gym but because i was sexually harassed im in the library). I was on one of the couches in the library.. and no one woke me up. I was there 20 minutes more than I had to. I missed my bus, and the librarians didn’t give a shit about me. I woke up on my own.. stood up. And realized no one was there. All of a sudden one of the library aids tells me school is over. I was pissed. I ran downstairs and called my mom. Mom to the rescue! For the next few days I slept during lunch (because Ramadan has started, I don’t eat, drink or have sex from dawn to dusk for 30 days) (although I don’t think I have to worry about the last prohibition during daylight..or nighttime for that matter.) “Christmas time” has officially begun, meaning I have to work more. Two guys tried to buy something with a credit card that wasn’t signed. Our policy, as well as the bank cards policy says that we have to get a photo ID in order to use unsigned bank cards (security measure.. thats why many people nowadays don’t sign their credit card on purpose) I asked for ID both times. The first time he said he did it for exactly this reason, but forgot his license. I called a manager, and the guy called him an asshole. DENIED. The second guy said, “Okay, give me the card, I’ll sign it now, and you won’t have to check my driver’s license.” Now I may be a bit off sometimes due to lack of sleep, but I’m not stupid. DENIED. He said that it was NOT the bank cards policy, I said it was. He said:no it’s not. I said: well sir, thats what I have been instructed. Let me call a manager. As I picked up the phone he said “no, no” and got out his license. What a goober. Shawshank redemption- good movie, just don’t stay up till 1 Am watching it, also good movie: The Other Sister, and Notting Hill During a commercial break my mom told me that when I go to college I have to set limits. Before she could go on.. I said: yup, only FOUR beers a night. She started laughing and said: I will disown you, no girls no alcohol. I said: Mom.. Is alcohol comparable to women ? She smirked. Heh, i knew she wanted to tell me to stop being a smartass.

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