Where I've Lived

I’ve lived with tall, gay, white men who played Dance Dance Revolution in orange shorts, people who drank bottles of Robitussin to get high, black people, white people, a middle-aged white woman who would drink champagne in a fancy glass on the weekend, gay people, polyamorous people, women, men, a French guy who believed music is forbidden but sang old Ace of Base songs offkey, people who don’t speak English, a Turkish guy who believed the Prophet told him to buy a sword, a horse, and a bunch of staffs and ride to Yemen, a German who biked from Germany to Damascus, a guy from the Ivory Coast who only spoke French that accused me of being a Shi’a pretending to be Sunni, a single father and his daughter, people who don’t mind being naked in front of me, those who would sumo wrestle me in the hallway, a pierced and tattooed Muslim bmx biker, a pro-Iraq war convert to Islam, Jews, Christians, Atheists, computer geeks, marine biologists, and a British Pakistani man who clearly stated that I’m a sign of the Day of Judgement and need to die. I’ve even lived with my sister.

Now that I have a place of my own, I can honestly say with complete certainty that my next roommate will be my wife.

Wait HijabMan! What wife?

Hey, I never said I figured that part out yet!

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